How do rehearsal dinners work

Sometimes it will even be a mix of all parties," says Povey. Under the traditional assumption that the bride's family is footing the wedding bill, general etiquette suggests the groom's side organize and pay for the rehearsal dinner. We all know that in modern times, finances, etiquette, and tradition have expanded and changed, but for super-traditional couples, this is the general rule of thumb. For all couples, a general rule is to have an open and honest discussion, similar to that of who's footing the wedding bill, about your plans, budget, and hopes with both families to ensure a drama- and stress-free rehearsal dinner.

When it comes to rehearsal dinner invitation etiquette, it's not as strict as wedding invitation etiquette. While everyone coming should receive some kind of invitation , it doesn't have to be a formal invitation. For a rehearsal dinner, an online invitation or phone call is perfectly acceptable. Typically, more formal affairs come along with a formal invitation via post, and more casual, laid-back gatherings come with a phone call or e-vite.

As with any organized event, guests should be informed four to six weeks prior to the date for planning purposes. Rehearsal dinner guest lists cannot be assumed, as some couples opt for immediate family only and others invite nearly half their wedding guest list.

Let your guests know in a timely and considerate fashion. Generally speaking, you should invite "immediate family members, the wedding party, their guests, and sometimes out-of-town guests if they've traveled a long way," Povey says.

Additionally, the officiant and any readers or ushers may be added to the wedding rehearsal dinner guest list. Depending on how large your families and bridal party are, that can add up to a pretty sizable crowd right there. Beyond that, many couples also invite extended family and the ring bearer and flower girl depending on their ages and closeness to the couple.

For traditional Saturday weddings, rehearsal dinners are most often hosted on the wedding's eve, directly after rehearsing the wedding ceremony. Couples that don't have an actual rehearsal often opt to still celebrate with a dinner or gathering. For the increasingly popular Sunday or Friday weddings, dinners can be hosted the Thursday, Friday, or Saturday prior. In regard to timing, plan so that all guests and the soon-to-be bride and groom, of course don't have too late of an evening.

After all, the main event is yet to come! Proximity is key. Keep in mind that your guests are traveling to celebrate your weekend, so they shouldn't be expected to travel much more than 45 minutes to your rehearsal dinner. Wherever possible, it's always appreciated if you provide clear directions or even transportation. The rehearsal dinner can be as formal or informal as you like, depending on your budget and desires.

Many couples try to keep the rehearsal dinner on theme with the wedding, however, so the dinner feels like an extension of the wedding itself and blends seamlessly into the rest of the weekend. Povey echoes this sentiment. There are no rules. We have done fantastic rehearsal dinners where the guests never sat down and music played all night," she says. Ready to plan a wedding rehearsal dinner? We've broken the planning down into 10 steps.

Traditionally, the groom's parents take care of the rehearsal dinner, but these days, anything goes. If both sets of parents are splitting the cost of the wedding, then perhaps you and your partner may want to pay for the rehearsal dinner. Talk with your partner and your parents to find the best solution for your situation. Guests typically include the happy couple, their parents, the bridal party, anyone who attended the actual rehearsal, and other close friends and family.

The couple or their parents may give a toast or two thanking everyone for their role in the wedding. Additional guests may give toasts as well. Although rehearsal dinners are far more casual than the ceremony or reception, it's important to maintain the same level of communication and note-taking as you have with the rest of the event.

Use the information provided with this post or come up with your own to-do list that will organize the rehearsal dinner. Create a digital document that you can share with co-hosts or hosts to keep everyone in the loop. Traditionally, whichever family did not pay for the wedding should pay for these expenses. If both families split the cost of the wedding, they can also split the cost of the rehearsal dinner.

Just keep in mind that whoever pays for it will likely do most of the decision-making. Some couples choose to pay for the rehearsal dinner themselves, which gives them full planning privileges for the event.

In addition to the financial obligation, the host will be expected to greet guests and give a short toast. If you'd like someone to host the evening and make sure everything runs smoothly, work with your venue to find a suitable coordinator, or take matters into your own hands.

A good rule of thumb is to not spend more than the total price of your wedding ceremony and reception divided by Cut the guest list down to just parents and the bridal party.

If you're already using a wedding theme , let it inspire your rehearsal dinner. Or choose a complementary color palette, a special type of venue, or a symbol that's important to you as a couple. For example, if your first-ever dance was to Frank Sinatra's Come Fly With Me, you can use suitcases and airplanes to decorate the space.

Other popular rehearsal dinner themes include mini-golf, fondues, and even blackjack tournaments. In other words, have fun with it! You can pretty much always expect a rehearsal dinner to be more laid-back and casual than the main event. Use this opportunity to mingle, have fun, and relax together before the big day. Rehearsal dinners usually take place the night before the wedding. So if your wedding is on Saturday, the rehearsal dinner will be on Friday night. However, don't feel like you have to follow this schedule.

Factors such as weather, budget, and travel schedules are good things to keep in mind. For example, if you have your rehearsal dinner on a Friday night and your wedding is on Sunday, guests will have time to completely relax and unwind in between events while the other attendees make their way into town.

Also, once you see the whole schedule in front of you, you may find that a rehearsal dinner will be too rushed for everyone to fit in. You can always provide light refreshments at the rehearsal itself or skip food altogether. Want your rehearsal dinner to be in a park, plaza, theater, mansion, or resort? Go for it!

Seriously, we've touched on every piece of the puzzle—rehearsal dinner toasts, attire, and activities included. We'll also help you make decisions, like when to start your party and where to host it.

Basically, consider this your ultimate rehearsal dinner checklist. We've outlined exactly what you need to throw an event your guests won't just enjoy but appreciate before they head into the big day. Ahead, you'll find that a great rehearsal dinner includes personal details, creative entertainment , and a few traditions sprinkled into the mix. It's also about accommodating your nearest and dearest, which is a foolproof way to show how much they really mean to you.

To learn more about what it takes to really impress on the night before your wedding, consult the following slides. At minimum, here's who makes the list: your wedding party even child attendants and readers , plus spouses or dates, and your immediate families. It's also customary to invite the officiant of the ceremony and his or her spouse, if he or she is close to the family. After that, the guest list is wide open, though the budget typically determines how many places to set.

Whether you start the party at 5 o'clock or 7 o'clock won't greatly impact attendance, so go for the early-bird special. Schedule your ceremony rehearsal for 4 o'clock, budgeting minutes for practice and 15 minutes for transit adjust as needed , and you'll begin just as the sun is setting—prime cocktail hour.

By 6 o'clock, after a drink or two and hors d'oeuvres, dinner can begin. At that pace, the evening will finish up by 9 o'clock, ensuring you get your much needed beauty rest before the big day.

You've learned how to prioritize details, but your host or hosts might need a helping hand in planning all things large and small. The best way to guide them is to agree on a theme, whether that's inspired by a color scheme, locale, or a favorite activity.

Choose a venue that suits your theme, your budget, and the number of guests you're hosting. The closer it is to where they're staying, the better—a long ride home is tough the night before the wedding day. Feel free to party somewhere unexpected, too. This couple hosted theirs at The Observatory at Alta Lakes. A smaller group might make it easier to gather at a unique location. Once you've decided on the major details, put them on paper and send out your invites.

These ones were designed by Kelsey Malie Calligraphy. You scoured the lists of greatest hits and your memory to choose the tunes for your first dance and more, so here's your chance to debut those tracks that you love but won't have a chance to spotlight on the big day.

Basically, you're setting the tune—and tone—for the festivities to come, regardless of whether or not dancing ensues. Bonus points if you hire live performers. Visuddha Entertainment artists played at this event. The food can complement your wedding's, or it can be totally different. For example, if you couldn't splurge on an elaborate charcuterie spread for your reception, try one at your smaller rehearsal dinner.

Tie these into the rest of your theme. If it's casual, a BBQ-style setup like this one will do. Though we do warn against too much booze—hungover ceremony guests are unhappy ceremony guests. Before everybody arrives, spruce up your venue. We love when couples incorporate personalized details like this photograph display for the intimate event. Consider staffing drivers for this smaller celebration to ensure that you and your party make a timely arrival following the rehearsal and that additional partiers arrive promptly from their hotels, too a late start means a late finish.

Or, book a bus that fits everybody this double-decker came from London Bus Company.