Why letting go is good

These will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out, but opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. Irish Mental Health Charity in Ireland. Why is letting go difficult? Letting go of the trauma To let go, you should accept that the hardships of the time were out of control.

Letting go does not mean forgetting Most people continue holding on because they fear that letting go will mean that they have to forget what happened. Realise that the relationships you imagined having will be different from the ones you have You should accept the person you are presently and the people currently in your life.

Do not live in chains when you can be free Sometimes we limit our abilities by believing that we cannot achieve something. Manage anxious thoughts where possible Anxiety breeds negative emotions, and it can make letting go difficult. Accept the things you cannot change Quit wishing that things would be different from the way they are. Do not expect people to behave in a certain way When you hold on to expectations, the chances are that you will be continuously disappointed.

Understand that you cannot control other people There is no way you will ever change another person. Learn forgiveness Unwillingness to forgive and resentment will keep you locked in your bitter past and prevent you from enjoying life to the fullest.

Allow room for mistakes Did you say something stupid or make a mistake? Express what works for you Do not hide behind your feelings. Article by Annabelle Short. Anna Short writes for NootropicUnderground with a specific interest in brain health. She also works with few organisations to provide families with the best resources for raising and educating a special needs child.

The Bigger Picture Is school preparing our children for a world that no longer exists? John Doran. Videos How to gracefully let go of relationships David Boland.

Tools The 5 stages of grief Meghann Scully. Imagine going about your day to day life and then you notice something. A twinge, a sensation or some other indication that something could be wrong. CHY Number This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out. Close Privacy Overview This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Necessary Necessary.

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It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on the website. Send this to a friend. Send Cancel. A Lust for Life does not provide crisis support, so if you or someone you are concerned about is in crisis and needs help urgently, please contact:.

A Lust for Life does not provide crisis support, so if you or someone you are concerned about is in crisis and needs help urgently, please contact. While you are here… can we ask you a favour? We know, pop ups are absolutely no craic. Make a once-off or regular donation. The harder we hold on, the more it hurts. The problem with this is that we have nothing free to grab the things that will be good for us when they come our way.

I could tell you all of that, and it would be true, but I also know from having been brought to my knees before, that none of that seems to matter when your knuckles are turning white from holding on. The most terrifying part is just before you loosen your grip. Once you let go, momentum will take over.

It might take time but it will happen. The hardest thing about letting go is making the decision and feeling okay about it. There are some questions to ask yourself to sure up your resolve:. Is it something real?

Or something long gone. When was the last time I got this? Giving up comes from a place of defeat. Fight for them, and fight hard, but know when to stop. It might even feel selfish. Really brave. Taking flight by letting go of the things that weigh you down can have a way of triggering those who are weighed down themselves. For the most part, people tend to be generous and want to see others happy. The only person who can make that decision is you.

Make the decision that your days of wishing for more than you have are over and decide that nobody will limit you. Your best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. People can change but only if it comes from them. If it comes from you, it will be temporary. Letting go can feel like rubbish — not always — but mostly. Sometimes the only way through is straight through the middle. When we hang on so tightly to something the energy we could be using to move forward is stuck with the job of hanging on.

A harmful friendship we hold on to even though it exhausts us. Or even a family member who is toxic. Because ultimately, not knowing how to move on harms you: It prevents you from achieving your true potential. Why do we have so much trouble learning how to let go of someone we love? We like to hold on to things, situations and especially people because it fulfills our need for certainty.

Certainty is one of the six human needs that drive every decision we make. Letting go and moving on from a relationship often entails a large amount of uncertainty. Even if your relationship had reached its conclusion or one or both of you were very unhappy, there was still an amount of certainty there that was comforting. Remember when you were rejected by several potential mates in high school or college?

Those memories justify everything for you. If these signs are familiar, you may be one of those people:. To focus your energy on living positively and proactively, you need to learn how to move on. Are you ready to let go of relationships that no longer serve you? Knowing you need to let go and actually letting go are two very different things.

These tips will help you discover how to move on once and for all. Deciding how to let go becomes easier when you are certain the time has come and that your future happiness depends on a new start. Understand that these are not facts — they are limiting beliefs , and while beliefs have the power to create your world, you have the power to transform them.

Your story is what you tell yourself to justify your decisions and is based on your limiting beliefs. Your parents argued in front of you all the time and eventually divorced. You use this past experience to justify your current life state — but you can change your story so that your past empowers you instead of holding you back.

Your past is not your future unless you live there. It is human nature to point the finger at someone else or a past incident instead of ourselves. This is why you blame your significant other at the end of a relationship or another person for something terrible that happened to you.